A stranger in the bus - 2
Everything was going fine,until the conductor came and asked me to pay for my journey. It
was not that i had any problems in paying him(remember,papa is with me 😜), but the interruption of this uninvited guest reminded me of several things at a time :-
1) papa was seated adjacent to her seat,at the opposite window,and looking at me(which i had hardly kept in mind).
2) I had a destination ( which was hardly two minutes from here ),at which i needed to leave the bus.
3) she was a stranger........and i was not sure if i would be lucky enough to see her again.
After paying the money,i prepared to get off. A number of thoughts had sprouted in my mind,mainly categorized into two streams - one that said,look at her,capture as much possible in your mind so that you can be happy recalling this time; and the other that said, stop looking at her or else you'll be feeling sad remembering her,as you might not meet her again.I was confused and time was slipping away fast.stepping down the stairs i was still debating the two thoughts in my mind.Each was a valid viewpoint in its own way.I had to take a decision real fast.
Ultimately, i tried to look at it from her point of view-though it was difficult-and came to the decision that,if she made me smile all the time, if she made me feel astonished at that time,then she for sure deserved to smile and feel good too. The driver pulled the breaks and the bus came to a stop getting down there, i looked back at her; she too was looking at me. I gave her a smile and waved my hand to bid her goodbye(a hope that we will meet soon). She returned the smile,shook her hand, but those spiritual eyes-told me clearly that she too was going to miss me. That was more than what i'd wished for at that moment.
Papa clutched my hand,as he always did from my childhood,and once again helped me in crossing the road. I couldn't resist my eyes,not to look back.Bus was started again and she was going and so my hopes,my smiles,and hidden child inside me.I stared at bus continuously until NH57 galloped the bus, she went. All the way from road to my home, all the if's and but's came into my mind but then i tried to distract myself from her thoughts and so i opened my whatsapp and all i saw was shiva's status that was written
"Milne ki umeed to nahi hai tujh se, lekin kaise keh doon ki intezaar nahi hai".
closing the phone, i thought to look at greenery of our colony,but again, those greenery reminded me of her green T-shirt(in which she was looking fabulous). Irritated with all these, finally i decided to take help from my hard time friend,'my music player', but all i heard was "Tu hi tu har jagah kyun hai" track ,even my hard time friend betrayed me. Destiny was playing game with me that day. I was so engaged with myself that i couldn't even saw that papa was holding my bag.Then i heard a line from the song - "teri meri baaki hai kahaani, teri meri aadhi hai kahaani"- which managed to give a quite smile on my face and i quickly snatched away the bag from papa.
The next three days passed like centuries.I tried to recreate that day- waited for the bus,same time,where i got down,every day. But despite all effort i got no idea about her, not even her name. I was broken - broken into pieces..............for a stranger. I felt that if in your lifetime you have ever experiences something like this or anything closed to this you would be aware of this anxiety very well.Yes,all this anxiety i felt is still a part of me.
Eleven days had passed since i last saw her,during these days,i had thought of everything that would enable me to meet her again. in spite of my sheer dedication,nothing positive turned up. I even tried my luck on social networking sites but that too turned out to be useless as the only specification i had of her was the mental image of her that i had carefully stored away - non-retrievable,non-printable,no ctrl+c or ctrl+v options available. mental image,and yet,i still find solace in her smile - in her smiles that radiates through the mental images,i find it easier to sleep at night.Because that was what i'd always wanted for her - to be happy.
After that day we never met ,better, i never saw her. My city MADHUBANI! it gave me my best feelings, snatched her from me before me and returned her in my dreams every night, only to snatch her away again in the mornings.................................
But today,when i was coming from kundan's house, waiting for the bus at bus stop, it makes me nostalgic. Tears don't listen to me and come out without warning. I sob silently,but there is no one to care. my phone's music list has become my companion again. But whenever i recall those moments, i just wonder, "why did i meet her that day?"
"A STRANGER, OR WAS SHE?"
Is it imaginary or something else?
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