A New me?

I am not the same boy who used to do everything for people who failed to put in effort themselves. The boy who used to get excited when someone gave him the smallest amount of affection because he took whatever he could get. I am not the same boy what I was yesterday.

He was innocent. Naive. Overly trusting. He saw the best in people because he didn’t know what they were capable of doing yet. He didn’t understand how hard a heart could break. But now, I am more experienced. I have been hurt before. I have been lied to, led on, and betrayed. I have seen the darkest parts of people I once trusted.

I should be bitter about all of the shit I’ve been through, but honestly, I consider it a good thing. My worst days have helped shaped me into someone different. Someone strong. I am not a pushover anymore. I am not going to allow anyone to treat me as a backup plan. I am not going to lower my standards because I happen to have feelings for someone who clearly doesn’t feel the same way.

I am not going to give out third and fourth chances anymore. I am not going to answer someone’s text if it took them three days to respond to mine. I am not going to rearrange my schedule to see someone if they keep cancelling and rescheduling. I am not going to let other people take advantage of me anymore. I am not going to kiss someone if I don’t feel a spark.

I am not going to feel like I am obligated to do something for someone else when I have a choice. Some people might say that I am not as nice anymore. Some people might have liked me better before because back then, I let them get away with murder. I let them walk all over me.

But I am happy with who I am now because I have finally realized my worth. I have finally raised my standards to where they should have been all along. I have finally decided that I deserve more than what some people are willing to give me and that it is okay to walk away when I’m not getting enough.