Are you okay?-3

Dear monosyllable Texter,

I don’t even know why I’m bothering to type such a long letter when I know the best reply that I will receive is a “k”. what do you even do with the time you save? Come up with more ways to piss me off?

If I merely wanted an acknowledgement for whether or not you’d read the message, I would just look at the blue ticks. Trust me that’s still better than an ‘oh’ or ‘hmm’. Last week, I wrote you three long paragraphs about how much you mean to me. You replied with a thumbs up emoticon.

Do something for me. Will you? Just shove that thumb up your lazy ass! No. No, Don’t you dare type out that lol and disappear for another two hours. Why do you hate words and sentences so much?

You’re so eloquent and passionate during conversations, I’ve seen you describe an orange with more detail than ever – but when it comes to a text you become an illiterate dork with a selected number of automatic responses. It’s as if the concept of articles and punctuation is foreign to you. And you never understood the concept of sentences, to begin with.

For your information, when I ask you if you’re coming to the class today, it’s not a ‘yes or no’ question. It’s a fucking conversation starter. We’re then supposed to go on to who else is coming and what we’re wearing. But what is the point of starting a conversation with someone whose idea of acceptable words is only meh, bleh, yes, no, cool, idk?

Though I’d be lying if I said you don’t have talent. You somehow find a suitable emoticon for everything. I didn’t even know there was a flaming emoticon till I asked you about your trip. Go figure.

So, for all those times you didn’t reply to my text properly, and all those times when I wondered if you even wanted to talk to me, I have just one thing to say to you – TTYL :)

REGARDS,

The paragraph Texter