Night Sky
Dreamer and believer,
that's how I define myself.
I dream with open eyes,
and believe in constants.
People around me say that 'Change is the only constant' in the universe. I do not accept that, because I believe there are many constants, and maybe, one among them is stronger than the change itself. It was my desire to find it, hold on to it, and never let go of it.
I don't know why, but I've always found comfort while looking at the night sky. I once saw a shooting star, and made my wish to find the constant that would overcome change.
that's how I define myself.
I dream with open eyes,
and believe in constants.
People around me say that 'Change is the only constant' in the universe. I do not accept that, because I believe there are many constants, and maybe, one among them is stronger than the change itself. It was my desire to find it, hold on to it, and never let go of it.
I don't know why, but I've always found comfort while looking at the night sky. I once saw a shooting star, and made my wish to find the constant that would overcome change.
Back when I was a kid, dad bought me watercolours,
bright vibrant just like the rainbow that compliments the raindrop that washes
away the miseries. I used to paint all night long trying to splash all the
anxiety brewing inside of me on the canvas and even on my return to school I
would paint; paint away the rust deposit in my heart. But one day when I came
back the paint had dried up, mom and dad told me that everything expires so did
they. I cried back than for my life turned black and white again.
In the summer of 2008, I considered that constant to be
Monika, my neighbour. She had blue eyes and black hair. She was fond of
Caterpillars, and would take me to the nearby forest to find them. She
considered Wolf to be her spirit animal, and we would go skygazing on nights
having a full moon. We spent most of our time together, and I thought we would
always be together. But after the summer of ‘08, I noticed her house was empty
and so was her desk at school. Several days later, mum told me they had to
leave town, because her father was transferred to a different city. The moon
seemed a bit lonely that night.
In the Autumn of '09, Dad brought home Amyra. A brown fluffy dog, with stars in his eyes. He would be with me 24x7. I built him a little dog house, but he always slept in my bed. On every morning, he would walk me to the school bus, and in the evening, he would wait for my return in the exact same spot. On a cold winter evening, when I returned from school, he was nowhere to be seen. Neither at the bus stop nor in the house. My parents told me they hadn't seen him since morning. That night, the stars reminded me of his eyes.
In 2010, I got addicted to music because my uncle brought an emergency light that had a radio in it. Sonu Nigam, Jagjit Singh, Metallica, AC/DC, Ghulam Ali, Guns N' Roses, Pink Floyd, Queen and others taught me that guitars could cry, and tears could smile. I hoped that music would be my constant, but as the years rolled by, people started to make songs for the eyes, and gradually, music merged with noise. Sometimes I look up to the sky and wonder where did it all go wrong.
As I entered the new year of 2011, Shreya walked into my life like a gush of sea breeze. She was from the coastal side, and loved the sea more than she loved people. She was of the opinion that the sky above the sea, was more beautiful than the sky above the land, but I didn't notice any difference. In the summer of ‘14, she asked me to accompany her in living the daredevils dream of swimming in the seven oceans and walking over the seven continents. Adventure has never been my cup of tea, so I politely declined her call, but she went on to pursue her dream without me. She managed to touch the waters from seven oceans, but she couldn't smell the earth from seven continents. The ocean claimed her, as if she was one of its own. I think the ocean noticed how special she was, and refused to share her with me or the land. That night, I sat by the shore and realized she was right all along. The sky above the sea is indeed more beautiful than the sky above the land.
In the Autumn of '09, Dad brought home Amyra. A brown fluffy dog, with stars in his eyes. He would be with me 24x7. I built him a little dog house, but he always slept in my bed. On every morning, he would walk me to the school bus, and in the evening, he would wait for my return in the exact same spot. On a cold winter evening, when I returned from school, he was nowhere to be seen. Neither at the bus stop nor in the house. My parents told me they hadn't seen him since morning. That night, the stars reminded me of his eyes.
In 2010, I got addicted to music because my uncle brought an emergency light that had a radio in it. Sonu Nigam, Jagjit Singh, Metallica, AC/DC, Ghulam Ali, Guns N' Roses, Pink Floyd, Queen and others taught me that guitars could cry, and tears could smile. I hoped that music would be my constant, but as the years rolled by, people started to make songs for the eyes, and gradually, music merged with noise. Sometimes I look up to the sky and wonder where did it all go wrong.
As I entered the new year of 2011, Shreya walked into my life like a gush of sea breeze. She was from the coastal side, and loved the sea more than she loved people. She was of the opinion that the sky above the sea, was more beautiful than the sky above the land, but I didn't notice any difference. In the summer of ‘14, she asked me to accompany her in living the daredevils dream of swimming in the seven oceans and walking over the seven continents. Adventure has never been my cup of tea, so I politely declined her call, but she went on to pursue her dream without me. She managed to touch the waters from seven oceans, but she couldn't smell the earth from seven continents. The ocean claimed her, as if she was one of its own. I think the ocean noticed how special she was, and refused to share her with me or the land. That night, I sat by the shore and realized she was right all along. The sky above the sea is indeed more beautiful than the sky above the land.
In the years that followed 2014, I became addicted to
stories, stories I could partially relate with. stories of people who tried to
sustain the ever increasing stress of hope. people who survived their own
death, of people who pretended to be strong yet grew fragile with every breath.
Now, I don't know why I hate the void of the unbound sky, once I saw the moon
peeking from the curtains of the grey and remembered the primaries I had to
look for. Trying to ensure my believe don't saturate.
I've always found comfort while looking at the night
sky, but now, after so many years, I've finally figured out what made me
comfortable. It was the stars. It was always the stars. Three stars in
particular, Alnitak, Alnilam and Mintaka, together known as the 'Belt of Orion'
or 'The three Kings' which are aligned in a straight line and shines brighter
than any other star in its vicinity. They were looking at me when I made my
wish to a shooting star, and also when I had Watercolours, Monika, Amyra,
Music, Shreya and stories in my life. My constant had always been there, it's
just that I've been looking for it elsewhere.
I believe on contradictions.
and dream of conflictions.
that’s how I define myself, now.
and dream of conflictions.
that’s how I define myself, now.
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